I was blessed today...

Our God is truly an awesome God. Today when one of my cell members shared with me how God was good to him in his life, I was totally blown away. It really showed me how you're never really alone and how the Uncreated One is truly in control.

The devil and his minions will try all sorts of ways to get me to focus on myself and my "plight". But His Word NEVER fails. My God is faithful, and He will always provide the way of escape. He will never allow to carry something more than I can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). All I need to do is come to Him in humility, and learn to surrender. I choose to TRUE ROAD to somewhere.

My God used a fellow brother who had walked down a similar path just days earlier to speak His truth into my life. He used this brother to show me I'm never really alone on this pilgrim way.

J, I praise God for how you've grown into maturity in Christ over the past few years. Thank you for demonstrating 1 Corinthians 2:4 in how you've ministered to me.

Hallelujah...

I choose the TRUE ROAD...

Some people aren't quite fans of the Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of the Bible, THE MESSAGE, but I am. Or rather... I have come to be.

This practically captures it all for me... I couldn't have described it better myself...

"I'm feeling terrible—I couldn't feel worse!
Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember?
When I told my story, you responded;
train me well in your deep wisdom.
Help me understand these things inside and out
so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.
My sad life's dilapidated, a falling-down barn;
build me up again by your Word.
Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;
grace me with your clear revelation.
I choose the true road to Somewhere,
I post your road signs at every curve and corner.
I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me;
God, don't let me down!
I'll run the course you lay out for me
if you'll just show me how."

Psalm 119:25-32 (The Message)

Them creative types...

You know how they say them creative types are usually temperamental, emotional with weird-ass mood swings?

What about those like me who are sooooo not creative, but still temperamental, emotional with weird-ass mood swings? I have no words to describe myself...

It's disgusting... I'm not satisfied because I know I should be filled with joy. His joy is my strength, and any thing else is just a temporary high.

I've been quite (read: VERY) moody of late. Of course being a guy you kinda just put on a brave front and act like everything's all cool. But this week's been a sort of an emotional roller coaster...
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I'm waiting here...

Sitting in the silence...

Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just wish for a friend who'd be willing to just sit with you in the silence? You're not in the mood for talking, but you would like a friend to just come sit with you... letting you know that he's there.

It's one of them days
Where I ain't much for words
But would appreciate the company
Now would you come sit with me?

on our knees...

I don't think the call to prayer and repentance has ever been stronger than it is now... just one touch... just one touch Lord.

e.m.o.

I'm how tempted to type like 1 x long e dot m dot o dot (e.m.o.) entry now... but then I think it's a bad idea.

Hahaha...

Law v.s. Grace?

Just this week a friend asked me,"Are you as hard on other people as you are on yourself?"
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Well, generally unless I know it's something I'm called to do, then... NO. But if there are people I have offended in the past because of this, I am sorry. Do let me know, and I WILL apologise to you personally, IN PERSON.

I do not think I am too hard on myself. If I am, I think it's because I lack discipline.

Communication breakdowns...

I hate them... I hate being misunderstood, I hate misunderstanding people. But it happens alot to me.

This can't go on...

Church

Hello everyone, sorry for the lack of updates.

Anyway, church was great today. It was one of those Sundays where I wasn't leading worship for main service or for youth. I actually had time to NOT have my lunch in Holland Village! Hahaha...

Ok back to church. For service today, the worship team decided to do a special "Jewish" set, meaning they did all the praise & worship songs with Jewish influences, songs from the Messaianic movement and stuff. Songs like "Kadosh", "Jehovah Jireh"... etc.

It was an awesome time of worship. Technically it was really good. But that's not even the point right now. I appreciate these "Jewish songs" because they're simply ALL ABOUT GOD. They simply declare the awesomeness, the holiness, the majesty of our Holy God. And they are a welcome change from alot of the songs we sing nowadays, about what WE would do for God, about how much we love God. Don't get me wrong there is a place for alot of these songs, and I love them, but we have to realise we're nothing but mere feeble humans. We can SAY we love God, and that we wanna do this and do that for Him, but we WILL fail. And that is why we need Jesus, no?

"Jewish songs" simply capture the nature and character of God, His unchanging nature. It's always good to just totally focus on that from time to time. He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore....

But I would like to give props to the band who really pulled off a set that I am pretty sure wasn't a stroll by the beach technically. Praise God! He took their hardwork and multiplied it for His glory! Oh yah, special mention to Junxu, who played acoustic for the first time at main service today. What a set for your debut man! Haha... But it was definitely a great first time. Good job!

The singers sounded really awesome too. Good to see Henry back on vocals too.=)
And of course...Shawn, THE VOICE, he was brilliant (as usual) as worship leader (and sometimes dancer too! haha... "hallelujah hallelujah"). May the Potter continue to shape you into something of beauty that reflects His majesty, as you yield yourself to Him.

I can't forget the dancers as well. They just keep getting better! Good to see Danch on the team as well! I was really ministered by the dancers today. Awesome... (i don't have much of a vocabulary)

Thank you Lord for blessing us with the people in our worship ministry. Every single one of them, not just those who were serving today is special in your eyes, and is made in your image. Lead us to the cross, and may we fall in love with you all over again, Jesus.

Thank you Lord also for 2 very powerful and annointed messages today. The first was delivered at main service by Ps William, on the "Goliaths in our lives" (ok tt's my own title.. but that is what it was about). The 2nd was by Ivan at youth, on finding our rest in Him. This was seriously THE BEST message Ivan has given ever. It could only be you God, taking Ivan's efforts and using it for Your glory.

May Your Word never return to you void.

You know you're old when...

Ok... so this morning I went to Starbucks to get a coffee. When I got there, I ordered my usual and proceeded with the payment.

As the counter girl was getting me my change, she asked, "So...... Not working today?" =(

That's terrible... They've always always asked me, "Not in school today?"

i'monlytwentyfive...really...onlytwentyfive

I surrendered...

bloggercannotorientatemypicturesproperlysoiamnotveryhappy. (icutmyhairbytheway)

I Love You Lord...

I give my life...
To honour YOU
YOU are the Christ
My Saviour King
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How can I give anything less
When you gave heaven's best?

For the gate is narrow and the way is hard......

I totally applaud this pastor for his uncompromising stand. These posts might offend, and they're definitely hard to swallow. But these are issues that we (esp the youth of today), need to address. To say that these things are not a struggle to me would be plain lie.

I really wished the church really talked more about such stuff. Our God isn't a floaty, happy clappy "inthecloudswithprettystuff" type god... He's GOD. GOD OVER ALL. He may be loving, but He's also strict, uncompromising... because He's unchanging.

To give our God anything less would be to cheapen the work of the cross.

Really... EVERYONE needs to read this... THESE rather...

1. http://www.perrynoble.com/2006/11/02/masturbation/

2. http://www.perrynoble.com/2005/08/17/thought-on-pornography/

3. http://www.perrynoble.com/2007/09/11/nice-christian-boys-and-girls-make-me-sick/

War cry...

The battle for this broken world can only be fought on our knees......
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Now who's going to answer the call?

Fine Tension...

Glenn... sucks... at the art of holding things in Fine Tension.
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And thus... he is not a very happy boy.

Leadership Experiences & Struggles #1

1. Sometimes you wonder if it is all worth it.
2. You can't please everyone.
3. You will ALWAYS mess up... ALOT.
4. Never expect people to appreciate you.

Photosss... from the last couple of weeks

Introducing...... TAN WEIYING! (She eats boys for breakfast...)

Weiying: I'm hungryyyy!!! Roarrrrrr..........

Weiying: 1 down... many many many more to go...

Denise: How does she do it?!

The NEW URBAN MALES of Connect. (and some very tall girls... either that or those males are just... errrm... nvm) I love how every single person's expression does not seem related to each other. Haha...

And now for the good stuff. Presenting... The SJC Mission Team to Ban Chang, Thailand!

Ok we're still missing Joel Chan from all these pictures. Do pray for us as we prepare for the trip! =) Lives will be changed... and He's gonna start with us.



idunnowhatweweredoing...

In pain...

Having a pretty rough week. A rollercoaster week of sorts. Trying to hear His voice in the midst of my work... wondering why on earth I do what I do, be it in church or in the office. I figure He's calling me to Him... the question is: How will I respond?.............. (Matthew 11:28)

I love you Lord
And I offer my life to You
I know you're leading me to the point of death
To the death of all that is in me that does not honour You

I ask Lord
For a heart of obedience
Even to the point of death

Do you believe it?

A vision...

Of a young people in love
Young people so in love
So in love with their Saviour
That they're willing to count the cost
And follow Him to the end

For He counted the cost
He paid the price
He crossed the great divide
All for love to take our place
All for love He finished the race
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This is a vision...

Of a people willing
Willing to pay the price
Willing to carry the name of Jesus Christ
The name above all names
The name of the Saviour who gave His life
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A people...

Who are in the world but not of it
Who are willing to have their hearts broken
Broken for the things that break His
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These people...

Are not afraid
Not afraid to take the stand
Not afraid to bow to His plan
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A people...

With a hunger
A passion
An unquenchable desire
To see the name of Jesus Christ
Lifted high above every land
On earth as it is in heaven

Empowered by the Giver of Life
They will give themselves no rest
Holding on and never letting go
Till the day
When every nation, tribe and tongue
Exalts the name of the King of Kings
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Can you see it?
Do you believe it?
Can you see it?
Do you believe it?

A generation carrying the Light
Shining bright against the darkness
A generation of warriors
An army of light, rising forth
From the valley of bones

Beaming like a city on a hill
There is none but ONE whom they fear
Breaking free
There is no turning back
The battle cry is on their lips

His hands, His feet they will be
In the midst of a world that's lost
They will be speakers of truth
Believing that the time is near
And the hour is almost here

Can you see it?
Do you believe it?

Sydney...

Few places in the world make me smile like Sydney can. I can't even explain why. I just like the place.

And right now... I wish I could just run away and stay there.
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.Of course I know I can't...

Drink? No Drink?

http://www.dankimball.com/vintage_faith/2007/07/would-jesus-be-.html

Good, well-written article. So what do YOU think? Feel free to leave comments.... But don't unreasonably slam anyone.

This just blew me away...

From a Franciscan Benediction…

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Wow......

Snaps

So many things (I want) to do, so little time. I know I'm supposed to post on Japan. I promise I'll do that in detail soon (soon enough). In the meantime, picture update.

Me on the subway in Japan. My dad's pretty trigger happy with his phone camera, much more than me! So anyway, when we first got to the hotel our rooms weren't ready yet so we decided to go explore first. So that means those were the clothes I wore on the plane! Haha!

Taken at the Mt Fuji Visitor's Centre. This picture apparently depicts an ancient myth about history of the mountain. Haha.... quite the funny.

Ok enough about Japan for this post. Couple more before I go...



The Lims have gone to Jakarta. And while it's really sad to see them leave, I also couldn't be happier for them because they're right smack where God wants them to be. Our prayers are with you. You'll be missed, all 7 of you.

Little Things

"Come to Me... and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

My first post back and it isn't happy stuff. Haven't been the happiest camper at work. It's just been terribly difficult to motivate myself to actually do my work, and be happy whilst at it. I keep thinking of church, Connect, JYM, the worship min, people I wish I had time to meet with, etc. And then I wish I had 48 hours a day (and of course the rest of the world has to have 48 too).

Sometimes one struggles. While I am certain of where He's leading me in my life, I just can't keep focusing THERE and not be at rest in Him NOW, where He's placed me for the moment. God is not just THERE, but He's also HERE, walking the journey with me. I need a fresh revelation of Him in these areas of my life which I find myself far from Him, unable to see Him or hear Him. Do pray for me.

But God is faithful, in the midst of tough times He does these things just to show me He's listening, that He's there:

• I'm in the prayer room and I'm praying hard for this person who's in this situation. Almost immediately after I finish praying, I get an sms about this person, and it's positive! =)
• I had the privilege to be used to minister to someone today, and God literally gave me all the words (through His Word) to say to this brother! The words were like a perfect match to his situation! And those verses were all the verses He led me to read and meditate upon last week! Coolness beyond words.
  

"Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew 6:10)

Think BIG, Start SMALL, Build DEEP! Let's be faithful in the little things my friends! Let our lives be windows to HEAVEN!

Back... almost

Hello all,

Been missing for a while cos the past 2-3 weeks have been pretty darn crazy, what with my Tokyo trip, 24/7, IDMC, the Lim's leaving, etc... Add to that me trying to get back into the swing of things at work, you have one insane time.

So anyway, to those who actually read my blog (whoever you people are, if you are actually out there...), I'll be back soon... I think.

Looking back, I also realised that this last 2-3 weeks has really been a time of cleaning out the closet. Things are changing, things are falling in place. So praise God... I'm a gonna let Him clean out the closet in my life some more.

Ok... till I actually have time to blog properly... toodles.

1st September 2007

While I still maintain that I thoroughly enjoyed myself this past week here in Tokyo, today was probably the least enjoyable of all the days. I went through the day with the nagging unsettled feeling in me once again. And I realised it was because today was the Family A'fair carnival that we've been looking forward to for quite a while now.

Throughout the day I actually felt this longing to be back in Singapore with the Connectors getting all hot and sweaty making and serving drinks. It got so bad I really couldn't enjoy myelf at certain points. All I could do was pray continually for the Connectors and the church as they came together to serve one another.

Thank you Lord, for blessing the church with good weather today, and for making the carnival a success. Thank you Lord, also, for the really WONDERFUL bunch of people we have in the Connect Ministry. Thank you for the unity in the ministry and also for their relentless commitment to see this project to completion, and not just to completion, but to SUCCESS!

All BLESSING, HONOUR, GLORY & POWER be unto YOU LORD! (Also, Thank You Lord that the Connect Ministry doesn't hate me for "abandoning" them as we neared the carnival...... I hope they don't...)

To the Connect Ministry: THANK YOU. It's truly a testament to His goodness they way you guys & girls pulled this off. Awesome... AWESOME.

To Collin, Jeanette, Debbie, Weiying: I passed the baton on to the 4 of you, and I know you people did the FAB job pulling everything together. It's only the night of the carnival and i'm already hearing praises! Dinner on me when I get back (someone remind me about this).

I can't wait for Friday.

iHeart Connect.

at least it's not a brAwl...

I'll be leaving Tokyo tomorrow morning. It's been a great week so far. In brief:

1. I didn't get no BEEF with anyone. Not with my parents, not with any locals (of course not!).
2. Overall, I must say I had a BALL of a time here in Tokyo. More on this when I get home and transfer all my pics onto my computer.
3. It's in Tokyo (Harajuku to be precise), where I had the best BOWL of ramen everrrrr....... I don't know if I can go back to eating the normal stuff back home. Haha.
4. The english here is really quite bad. Haha... as you can see.

So is it BOWL, BALL, or BRAWL?! Hur Hur Hur...
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My parents and I during the Mt Fuji & Hakone tour.

Tokyo Blog #1

Herro everyone.

Ok so here I am in my little sardine can of a hotel room in Asakusa, Tokyo. It's the end of Day 2 of my holiday here. It's been good fun so far, getting lost in the complicated (mainly due to the language barrier) subway system, hunting down obscure eating places, EATING, shopping (Uniqlo rocks my socks). I intended to do a photo update every night (make that every 2 nights), but Glenn the clever boy forgot to bring the USB cable for the camera.

Just a snippet of stuff from the 2 days, I'll do a proper post (or posts) when I have pics lah:

1. the food rocks. the raw fish melts in your mouth, and the ramen is like how shiok, and beer is cheap!
2. Mcdonald's has a McPork here... hahaha... I want!
3. Japanese people are actually really nice. I can't understand a word they say, but the service beats Singapore's anytime.
4. Tokyo is messier and dirtier and less futuristic than I imagined it to be. =(
5. It's SUPERRRRRRR HOT, but minus Singapore's humidity.
6. Uniqlo UT is heaven in the form of a THREE storey t-shirt shop, and every tee is $20SGD!

btw, I haven't bumped into Hello Kitty on the street yet. I wonder why... hmmmm

And I MUST remember to blog about the FLIGHT, which kinda sucked. Haha.

Things one should never do when leading worship

1. Never attempt Chris Tomlin's Forever with no band (2 acoustics) AND without practicing beforehand with your co-leader/guitarist.

2. Never start preparing for worship at 5.15PM the day you are leading.

3. Never have completely no time of practice with your co-leader (no matter how good he is).

I'm sure there are more... but for starters I did all 3 tonight. =( There was some hiccup with our roster and the person who was supposed to lead wasn't aware of it. So I took over. Technically it bombed. =(

But God is faithful, and I saw people worshipping, which is great. Cos then I know it's CONFIRM NOT me, but Him at work. Hallelujah

History Maker (by Delirious?)

Is it true today that when people pray
Cloudless skies will break
Kings and queens will shake
Yes it's true and I believe it
I'm living for you

Is it true today that when people pray
We'll see dead men rise
And the blind set free
Yes it's true and I believe it
I'm living for you

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again
Into your arms, into your arms again

Well it's true today that when people stand
With the fire of God, and the truth in hand
We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing
We'll see broken hearts making history
Yes it's true and I believe it
We're living for you

Free Will (taken from "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis)

Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.

The only thing worse than a guy in women's clothing...

... is a guy in a little girl's clothing. Here's everyone's favourite guitarist wearing Emily's hoodie. (and you thought his brother wearing the same stripes as a girl who looked like him was weird enough...)

This is war...

Enemy-occupied territory - that is what this world is. Christianity is the story of how the rightful king has landed, you might say landed in disguise, and is calling us all to take part in a great campaign of sabotage.

(taken from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis)

Pain...

It does hurt... whatever this is. And sometimes you just want to run away. Walk with me friends... pray with me. Let's dance upon this barren land together.

We'll sow in tears... but we'll reap in joy.

I see the clouds...

Something's happening, to me, within me... but I don't know what it is...... yet. All I know, is that there is an uneasiness within me, a certain restlessness, like a storm brewing.

It's time for things to change. No matter how much this hurts, whatever it takes, it will happen. The rain will come.

"I see the clouds and yes I'm ready, to dance upon this barren land. Hope in my hand...... Rain down. My heart is dry but still i'm singing" (Rain Down by Delirious?)

Random photo post (again)

I have no time to blog... so I post photos. Enjoy (if possible)...

Beer talks to me I tell you... it cries out to me every day! "Drink! Drink!"

Taken at Edward & Derrick's place just before Edward left. idunnowhattothink. Derrick's actually smiling.

(Note: Red throw cushions make for BAD backdrops. Can you say "Samsui Woman"?)

We made a new friend. I call him Woody.

As if they didn't ALREADY look alike. (dunkillmedunkillmedunkillme)

Oh the madness...

It's been a busy week... and might possibly get busier still in the weeks to come. Dealing with Mexicans ain't fun at all. I can't speak Spanish, they suck at English. Boo...

I've been so busy I haven't had time to:

1. Read my bible study materials
2. Change my guitar strings
3. PLAY my guitar
4. Finish my pile of books
5. BLOG (haha)

Lord, please give me the discipline to sepnd my time wisely, and to REST when I should (I really should learn how to SLEEP).

Sometimes... (an emotional rant of an aging twentysomething)

Sometimes... just sometimes, it gets lonely. I'm not gonna pretend life is perfect, all fine and dandy and stuff. Life isn't perfect. It has never been, because we're on our way to so much more. But for the here and now, it can get tough.

I've never really expressed this side of me, with regards to life in church. It's not like I don't have friends. It's not like everyone hates me (please Lord, I really hope they don't!). But there are sometimes when you just feel all alone in a crowd.

I don't think it'd be totally wrong to say that, where I am, I don't have many peers. Most of my friends are either OLDER than me (sometimes quite significantly... right Andrew? Hence, the propect of having to possibly wait 11 years to get married is something I sometimes I shudder at), or YOUNGER than me (by no small amount sometimes). The rest have either left church or are caught up in the world. Others maybe have a group of Godly brothers & sisters to fall back on out of church. I don't.

While having friends of all ages (literally, imagine from Nathan to ANDREW!... haha) is something that I've truly appreciated and cherished about church life and the Body of Christ (I never thought I'd have such a wide spectrum of friends back in my secondary school/JC days), sometimes you need your peers too: people your age, at a similar stage of life to be able to relate to the same journeys/struggles you go through. Much as I love my friends, who are mostly younger, and much as I love sharing stuff with them as well, I can't expect them to really understand where I'm coming from at times.

Many have left church over the years, and people around my age... there aren't many left. If there are, they're probably girls. I do try get to know everyone around as best as I can, never satisfied with the satus quo, always willing to go deeper. Many times things don't work the way I'd like, and I get disappointed. But I need to find my comfort in Him, trusting that in Him I will find that which I seek, in His time. Many times I tend to rush things, rush friendships, rush relationships, not willing to make home where He has placed me for the moment (this is quite important for those of us following God in our lives, look at the lives of Abraham & Moses... ). I need to trust in His grace.

Where are the friends? Who are my friends? Sometimes it's not so easy to tell. Sometimes you don't really know. But I shall learn... I will learn... to trust in His grace... to be able to declare that "my portion is Him, and I'm more than blessed..."

To those of you who have been there for me, and who will continue to be there for me, in Him, I thank you...

Sanctification... The Life Side...... for He came that we may have life...

"... I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10: 10)

Emerging from The Death Side of Sanctification... The Life Side.

Our guilt, our shame, our sin, and everything else that keeps us from the God the Father was put to death on the cross, but are WE willing to die to them that we may receive His life?

"He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, whom God made our wisdom and our righteousness and sanctification and redemption." (1 Corinthians 1:30)

The mystery of sanctification is that the perfect qualities of Jesus Christ are imparted as a gift to me, not gradually but instantly once I enter by faith into the realization that He was "made [my].. sanctification..." Sanctification means nothing less than the holiness of Jesus becoming mine and being exhibited in my life.

The most wonderful secret of living a holy life does not lie in imitating Jesus, but in letting the perfect qualities of Jesus exhibit themselves in my human flesh. Sanctification is "Christ in you..." (Colossians 1:27). It is his wonderful life that is imparted to me in sanctification - imparted by faith as a sovereign gift of God's grace. Am I willing for God to make sanctification as real to me as it is in His word?

Sanctification means the impartation of the holy qualities of Jesus Christ to me. It is the gift of His patience, love, holiness, faith, purity, and godliness that is exhibited in and through every sanctified soul. Sanctification is not drawing from Jesus the power to be holy - it is drawing from Jesus the very holiness that was exhibited in Him, and that He now exhibits in me. Sanctification is an impartation, not an imitation. Imitation is something altogether different. The perfection of everything is in Jesus Christ, and the mystery of sanctification is that all the perfect qualities of Jesus are at my disposal. Consequently, I slowly but surely begin to live a life of inexpressible order, soundness and holiness - "... kept by the power of God..." (1Peter 1:5) - Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest"

Sanctification... The Death Side.

"This is the will of God, your sanctification..." (1 Thessalonians 4:3)

In sanctification God has to deal with us on the death side as well as on the life side. Sanctification requires our coming to the place of death, but many of us spend so much time there that we become morbid. There is always a tremendous battle before sanctification is realised - something within us pushing the resentment against the demands of Christ. When the Holy Spirit begins to show us what sanctification means, the stuggle starts immediately. Jesus said,"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate... his own life... he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26)

In the process of sanctification, the Spirit of God will strip me down until there is nothing left but myself, and that is the place of death. Am I willing to be myself and nothing more? Am I willing to have no friends, no father, no brother, and no self-interest - simply be ready for death? That is the condition required for sanctification. No wonder Jesus said,"I did not come to bring peace but a sword" (Matthew 10:34). This is when the battle comes, and where so many of us falter. We refuse to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ on this point. We say,"But this is so strict. Surely He does not require that of me." Our Lord is strict, and He does require that of us.

Am I willing to reduce myself down to simply "me"? Am I determined enough to strip myself of all that my friends think of me, and all that I think of myself? Am I willing and determined to hand over my simple naked self to God? Once I am, He will immediately sanctify me completely, and my life will be free from being determined and persistent toward anything except God. (see 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

When I pray,"Lord, show me what sanctification means for me," He will show me. It means beind made one with Jesus. Sanctification is not something Jesus puts in me - it is Himself in me ( see 1 Corinthians 1:30). - Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest".

Lord, lead me to the point where I can die to myself completely
Lead me to the point where I come face to face with my depraved, sinful self
Lead me to the point where I can't run anymore
Lead me to the point of death
The point where new life begins...

This lesson O Lord, is an extremly bitter pill to swallow, but I know you love me. All I can do... is surrender...

I offer devotion...

"For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
..."
(Psalm 51: 3-4)

Have mercy on me Lord, for your servant has taken his eyes of You this week. I'm sorry. I'm ashamed to say I've taken my eyes of Christ my Saviour, and even more ashamed of the things I have done as a result.

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. I really do. I tell and encourage people to focus on Christ in all they do, and I myself am guilty of not doing that. Lord, I don't want another moment without you being the centre. Forgive me Lord, for I have not sought a true realization of Christ in all I do. I need your grace and mercy.

"Have mercy on me , O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin!
......
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow"

This my prayer O God... that I may walk in your ways always.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me now way from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit
......
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
...
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God,
you will not depise."

I'm yours Lord... I'm yours

I'm delivered but it doesn't seem right, unless I keep my eyes focused on the Saviour who gave His life...

Mysterious Connect Retreat photos...

Ok I really don't know who was playing with my phone during the Connect retreat, but as I was looking at my phone, I realised I have MANY pictures which I didn't take, hear are some of them...


Derrick, Edward and Denise doing the Funky Chicken.


Nathan is my fwen. (i tried to straighten to photo, i promise!)


I suspect SHE took the photos.

This Is Love...

"EVERY RELATIONSHIP for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do what's in his or her best interest. To care for him or her even when there's nothing in it for us." (Josh Harris)

Friends, let us carefully consider our current friendships and relationships. How far are we from honouring God in our relationships and friendships? It's time for us to step up and surrender this area of our lives to the Lordship of Christ. Especially for the sinner writing this.

We've been too selfish, too long.

"A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples,
if you love one another."
(John 13:34-35)

Mighty Is The Power Of the Cross

Ok for those of you who have been in the music ministry room, you might have seen this picture, among others, all over the walls. the pictures were done by ian last year for a worship mininstry thankgiving dinner. Here's mine. Sorry for the weird look on my face.

however, i like this picture for one reason and for one reason only. (and no it is not my sweaty shirt). i like how everything in the picture is really grainy and sorta fading away, EXCEPT FOR THE CROSS.

I see my my heart's desire in that picture: that my life be nothing about me but all about the MGHTY WORK OF MY SAVIOUR ON THE CROSS. may the old me fade into the shadows such that when one looks at me, all they see is Christ living His life through me.

Day by day, less of me Lord... and more and more of YOU.

Bible study...

Just came back from a new bible study class which Boon Cheang (the teacher) invited me to attend. This is additional to my regular class at BC's place with Debbie, Jiamin, Lifang, Ivan, Huiting, Ivan, Kenneth & Collin. I think BC actually wanted me to observe and learn from how he conducts bible study sessions. Well from my first session tonight, I'd say there's so much more to learn, not just from the conducting point of view, but especially from the Word of God. You can never have too much of the Word of God, so I'm really happy to have this additional opportunity to study His word.

But I think the greatest blessing of all with regard to being part of this bible study class is the people whom I'm attending it with. With the exception of Ivan, and to a much lesser extent Joel Pang & Kax, I can't say I know any of the people in this group well at all... which actually is quite sad in a sense since we're all part of the same church AND in THREE ministries together (for most): JYM, Connect & Worship.

How well do you know the people your churches and in your ministries whom you serve with? The people who are part of your spiritual family, your brothers and sisters in Christ. Do you know what's in their hearts? Do you know what makes each individual the way he or she is? I don't mean that EVERYONE has to be best friends (although that would be great), but do we make an effort to look beyond the surface of the people we meet once a week every Sunday (sometimes more)?

The church is not a social club. We were meant to be a fellowship of disciples, of believers. We ARE Christ's body. How can you be one body if one part doesn't know the other? I personally feel that if we seek (with the Holy Spirit's help) to look into the hearts of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and not just focus on a person's exterior actions/looks, we will understand why a person behaves the way he or she does. We will know what makes them tick. And imagine how many conflicts in the church could be avoided if the people involved looked beyond the surface in love, and sought to see, in light of the Spirit's illumination, what was in the other person's heart? Many times you'd find that they were actually on the same page. I too am guilty of passing judgement and jumping to conclusions, and have to repent and seek His forgiveness & grace on a daily basis.

Too many times in church we seem to stick within our comfort zones, our own cliques. The other people in church who are not "our gang", we just offer the standard pleasantries, smile a bit and that's it really. Is that what brings glory to the Father? Could someone be hurting and we miss it? Could someone be hurting and EVERYONE misses it? This has got to be one of the enemy's best weapons against the Body Of Christ: a church that's united in clumps, and even so probably only in terms of human relations and not in the spirit. Only because we failed to follow the example of Jesus who looked into the hearts of men, and saw what our heart and souls really needed. Let's start learning to serve each other rather than wondering what the church can do for us. Hey Christ has already done enough for you don't you think? Just respond and serve His body... (By the way, those whom we are "close" to, do we even know what's really in THEIR hearts?)

Ok... wow... I've drifted so much from wherever I was when I first started this post. But I'm not gonna delete it. Stuff like this has been on my heart for too long. Which is why I'm thanking God for the opportunity to really get to know other members of my spiritual family who I ashamedly do not really know. I just pray that my pride won't get in the way, that with a heart of humility and love I'll be able to seek how to better serve my fellow brothers and sisters, and foster stronger bonds in Christ.

Oh... and congratulations to you to if you've actually stuck around to the end of this post. I wonder if you think I'm mad... oh but I am.

Keep falling in love...

Every moment I'm awake
Fill me with the wonder of your glory
Captivate me with your beauty
Flood my heart with passion for YOU

All this, O Lord
That I may keep
Falling in love...

Hello hedge pee...

Random snap of my drab workspace. Haha, even though THE ORGANISATION and my work hours allows for us to work from home as and when the need arises (like every day?), I'm determined to spend more time in the office so I can actually build relationships with my colleagues.

I wanna do it! Haha... even if it means putting up with substandard coffee (I'll get my fix elsewhere). And of course watching an NCC member debate with a CEFC member about grace is quite a treat too, as I have discovered today.

Person A (NCC): blah blah blah... just rest in grace!

Person B(CEFC): I don't buy cheap grace!

Imagine...

It's here again guys. Start inviting all your friends! It's gonna be a magical night...

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ok i'm kidding of course...

bleah...

So I've finally cut my hair after for the first time since Chinese New Year. Personally I wished he didn't cut so much of the length off. But anyhow what's done is done. Here's a sampling of the responses I got as I walked around church yesterday & today:

Claud: Ahhhh! (yes she that was her first reaction) ....Ugly!
Jeremy Yap: *sniggers* nice hair...
Rachel Tang: you like a small boy...
Gloria Teng: it's nice... (Gloria is my friend!)
Henry Yew: it's ok what... it'll grow out (so considerate, what a nice guy)
Nadine: it would have been better if you didn't cut it...
Nat (he's 12): eh your hair very funny/eh your hair very ugly... x 10

ok that's enough, I don't wanna remember any other comments anymore. my heart cannot take it.

Now, I need to find a nice cap... or maybe a wig.

What would you give your life for?

Hosea's Wife (by Brooke Fraser)
=============================

I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
"What do I live for?"

I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
"What do I live for?"

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives

[CHORUS]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for?

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies

[CHORUS]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

[Bridge]
We are more than dust
That means something
That means something
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies

[CHORUS]
If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

Connect, Friday 29 June '07

Thank God for the people who attended tonight, for the time of praise & worship, and for the great message from Ps Timothy. Now it's time to put the Word of God into action!

Here's a pic of David & Junxu leading us in worship. Thanks guys!

My Cuppa...

Haha... ok I just realised you can see me taking the photo on my sunglasses. But anyway, everyone please meet my favourite drink of all time, the humble Cafe Latte. For the most part, I really never drink any other drink when I go to a coffee joint (save for the occasional Cafe Mocha nowhipaddfoam, which is basically a Mocha Latte).

My only gripe is that lattes in Singapore aren't the cheapest drinks in town. But I still drink at least 2 cups a week (the rest of the days I drink kopi siu dai, which I kinda like too).

Guess Who?

First up, since Ivan themandude Chan has linked me on his blog (which is like JYM blog central), I better watch what I say here. Haha.

Ok anyway, let's play a game, as a result of Ivan sharing my blog on his, I had this sms conversation with someone last night, let's call him/her Person X.

Person X: Oh my gosh! I am at your blog now. And guess what! Worthy To Be Praised your blog song is one of my favourite. New Creation?! love the guitar parts there...

Me: Did you message the wrong person?

Person X: Oh Crap! Oh my gosh! Crap! Mistake. Stupid mistake. You will laugh like mad when you hear it. My fault. My mistake. I am so stupid! Haha.

Me: Ok so what did you do this time? Haha...... But then my blog has no music. Haha

Person X: Ya lor! just so happened i went to your blog, then i forgot i left the windows media player running. So the next random song which played was Worthy To Be Praised by New Creation Church, i must say it's a lovely song. So i thought music come from your blog! Then when i closed your blog window, the music was still playing. That was when it was not from your bog. By that time your message came in, And i was already feeling so dumb! Crap!

Me: ......

Can you guess who Person X is?

It's late... and I feel like posting something random.

This is my nephew, Shaun Parson. He's half ang-moh as you can see, hence he's onethousandmilliontrilliongamamazillion times more hamsum than me. His dad's Aussie, and they just moved back to Singapore from Sydney last year (while i love my family, i don't count that as one of their smartest decisions. Haha... cos I love Sydney!)

The photo was taken at his birthday party (he turned ONE... wheee, and he got his first taste of chicken wing, much to the horror of his mum, my cousin), which was quite some time back. (my lack of a helmethead of rubbish hair is a dead giveaway to the date of this photo).

While I hate this photo cos it makes me look fat (who ask my nephew so slim and hamsum?), I'm posting it cos I think he's how cute (pseudo yoga pose notwithstanding). And more importantly, I want to take him to SPK! To any possible non-St James' people reading this, SPK stands for "Super Power Kids", which is our children's church programme on Sunday afternoons (which REALLY REALLY ROCKS by the way).

Ok I know I'm planning for all this like 4 years too early, but I've devised this super cool plan lah:

I bring Shaun to SPK, he has loads of fun. I invite his parents, my parents and his grandparents, and basically every single relative who thinks he's cute and would go to insane lengths to see him play and look cute (yes there are people like that) ALL to SPK. And "marimarihom!" (please visit Ivan's blog for details), you have ALMOST the entire set of Glenn's paternal relatives (plus his own parents!) in church! And then through the love and friendship which WILL be extended to them by the lovely people of St James' Church, they'll come to experience the love of Christ first hand and subsequently accept Him as their Lord and Saviour!

Ok that's just one of the many "plans" I've come up with whenever I think about how to reach out to my family. I've gotta of course take all these "plans" to God and really ask Him for wisdom as to what to do. I don't really wanna wait 4 years to bring them to church when I can actually take the church (me being the representative of Christ) TO THEM.

So the point of this whole post really is: pray for me and my family as I seek to reach out to them! Hey you might just have one superextremelyinsanely cute little "chup cheng" boy to play with in the near future!

Revelation 3: Transformation

Ok so here we go... Revelation 3: Transformation the EVENT has ended. But the PROCESS has just begun. I'm still in the midst looking back at my own personal journey leading up to Revelation 3 together with God, to really gain some clarity, with the help of His Holy Spirit, on what He Himself has revealed to me, with the loving desire to ultimately transform me to reflect more of His glory. Rest assured that once the time is right (or The Time Has Come... heh), I'll share it with everyone here as well.

My own involvement in the Revelation series of worship events began with the first one back in August 2005, where I was a vocalist on the team. That, being the very first one, was birthed out a renewed passion for God that was taking place in JYM at the time. I still remember how God was moving Sunday after Sunday, the music was sometimes raw, but nobody cared. It was just so awesome to just see God working, youths on their knees, tears falling, crying out, repenting, re-dedications being made... Just so powerful.

The 2nd Revelation event was held at the start of 2006, and Ivan and myself had the privilege of leading worship for that one. Also an awesome experience. And finally, the recently concluded Revelation 3, I was co-leading for set 2 with Kaixin. This latest Revelation saw Claudia and Kaixin at the helm of things with good ol' Ivan and myself assisting them.

All in all, 3 events with very different experiences for each. But each one in its own unique way was a tremendous blessing to me from the Father Himself.

Ok so back to Revelation 3. Ok honestly EVERYONE involved did a fantastic job in really coming together as one to put up this event. What a committed and dedicated bunch of youth we have. Ok I don't believe I am doing this, but... err shout-outs:

Claud - Looney that she is, but she really came through good for this one. With God's help she saw the event through from start to finish. What began in Ps Henry's office one day as a stationery hunt (she forgot about the stationery but came out with the daunting task of putting the entire event together), culminated in an awesome night of praise and worship of the King of Kings on the 23rd of June 2007.

Am proud of you Claud (even though you knock my cardigan and pointy shoes!), it was a pleasure being able to work with you for His Glory. And I'd do it again! (but this time you better know where Tel Aviv is). May you continue to grow in spiritual maturity as a worshipper and disciple of the LORD. Also, I humbly apologise for my nagginess at times in preparation for the event. I know I tend to do that at times.

Kax - What can I say, my co-worship leader. It was an honour and a blessing. Of all the people involved in Revelation 3, I somehow sense you've grown the most from the entire experience. There was a newfound confidence (in the Spirit) which I noticed on Saturday night. From the way you prayed, to the way you led the people in worship, undeniably, a Transformation has taken place. Praise God for that. What an encouragement it has been working with you!

I'm looking forward to more opportunities where we can partner together to lead the youth into worship. And I pray that the transformation He has begun in you by His Spirit will continue as you seek His face each day, that you may be transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory.

"The LORD your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with his love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."(Zephaniah 3:17)

Ivan - As usual, you're the man dude. It's always been a pleasure serving with you. Keep up the faithful service for the Lord. Your desire to give your utmost for His highest is a constant encouragement to me. Let's continue to spur one another in the work for His Glory.

Singers - You guys and girls were amazing, every single one of you. Joanne and Janelle, I'd really love to hear so much more of your voices during JYM. Beautiful. Kaimin, good to have to you join us on vocals too! You've got that heart of worship no doubt. Junxu, thanks for coming through with the male harmony parts for us. It really added to the vocals. And also, thank you for your heart to really pursue excellence.

Band - To the younger musicians in the band, really really great job! Really blessed to see the younger ones (i of all people can use the term "younger ones" without fear) giving back to God with the talents He's blessed them with. Overall, the music for both sets, what can I say but give praise to God for blessing us with such an awesome set of musicians who can not just play great music, but can worship Him with the talents He's given them. Continue to give back to Him what He's blessed you with, and see Him take your offering of worship and multiply it for His glory.

Collin - Mr Grumpy. Colliflower. The one and only Walzy himself. In 3 days you came up with the opening visuals. Never once did you complain (oh maybe except that one time to me... haha... but that's ok cos that's just the way Mr Grumpy talks). It's your transformation these past 3 years that's really shown me how BIG my God is. Thanks for really being there and helping to keep me sane at times. Your partnership in Connect and the Worship Ministry is much much valued.

David - I hope Revelation 3 was a good birthday gift to you. Thanks so much for all the help with the band. And especially your patience with me during practices when I sometimes (ok fine... many times) fumbled. Also, your little personalised notes of encouragement to every member of the team just before the event started was really a God-send. Thank you David. Thank God for you.

PA crew - Derrick, Amos, Joshua, Darren, Wilson. Your commitment and dedication was really examplary. Being there every single practice, doing the lyrics, lights, everything... Thank You. Much thanks to Jesse who was there on Wednesday and Saturday itself too!

Dancers - I've always felt that dance can be such a powerful expression of worship, and all of you really captured that so beautifully this Revelation 3. And like Ivan's said in his much better written version of THE REVELATION POST, it's really a great joy to finally have dancers for Revelation. The dance for At The Foot of the Cross really blew me away. I know people at the back too were blessed by that offering of worship unto Him.

And lastly to Caleb and the logistics gang, and Joyce and the ushers, thank you so much for playing the roles you did. It's always such a great experience when the Body of Christ comes together united as one. I like the stage set this year. Oh and how can I forget the really nifty signs the ushers were wearing? Haha

Ok that takes me to the end of this post-Revelation ramble. I'm sure there's more to come. =) Thank you Lord for blessing me with such an awesome opportunity to serve you.

I will reach out just the same...

Ok i've been wanting to share this with people for the longest time. Brooke's awesome we already know that, but I think what makes her even more awesome, is (not her extremely beautiful outer appearance, though if anyone has anything to say about that you have to deal with ME first!), is her heart for the Father, and His annointing which is so clearly upon her.

Faithful (by Brooke Fraser)
========================
There's distance in the air
And I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms `round about me
And blow with all my might

I cannot sense you close
Though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near
Is what I long for

CHORUS
When I can't feel you
I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you
I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you
More than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you
Maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past
Though I know it is undone
I still feel the guilty one
Still trying to make it right

So I whisper soft your name
And let it roll around my tongue
Knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

CHORUS
When I can't feel you
I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you
I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you
More than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you
Maybe I'm made more faithful

Bridge
Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

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Son of man, can these bones live?

Ok I've decided to resurrect this blog... or at least try to.

God's really moving, in my life, in church... in so many different areas. And I would love to be able to tell everyone... all my friends, people I have yet to meet, and especially people I may never meet, about the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord. That's really the motivating factor for wanting to try and re-start this blog all over again. I want to be able to document all the awesome things my God is doing in and around me, to really share the love of Christ with everyone, with those who would take the time to have a look.

As I walk this road God's been leading me on over the years, He's brought so many many wonderful people into my life. Fellow sojourners in this temporary existance, to encourage one another, to bless one another, to partner in the great work for His glory. Sometimes they move on, sometimes they drift away, sometimes they get called to take on another assignments, and sometimes even I have to move on to the next stage He's called me to. We may be physically apart, but we'll forever be united by His Spirit in His family. Those of you who I don't see so often, I miss you and I wish I could have all the time in the world to meet up with all of you frequently to just tell of all the amazing things He's been doing and continues to do. But of course I can't... and this blog is expecially for all of you.

A journal of my journeys with the Lord... about my life, with Him. I promise to be as real as possible. No fluff, no fancy stuff, everything just as it is...

Of course being real, I will also talk about my struggles, my failures, my shame (I hope). It won't always be the Good Life. But through all that, I pray for one thing to remain true, that the Lord's faithfulness and grace shine through.

"I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy
I will boast in the Lord my God
I will boast in the One Who's worthy, He's worthy

I will make my boast in Christ alone" (Paul Baloche)