Grumps...

Woke up this morning really grumpy and tired. Typical Monday blues I guess. But somewhere between the coffee, the bible and the shower I felt convicted over the way I've been acting lately.

It's been about 4 weeks since this "new season" of my life started. A season of walking the talk and talking MY walk.

A season which begins in solitude, where I find silence, and which leads to comtemplation.

A season where I am forcing myself to build and develop my spiritual disciplines.

A season where I, following the footsteps of my Master, set to intentionally take time to get AWAY to be by myself. Of course the point of being by myself is that I will never really be alone. I'm always in the presence of THE ONE, Him whose beauty and majesty I long to forever set my heart's gaze upon.
The man who thinks he can run away from THE ONE...... should just read Genesis 3.

There have been the most wonderful times of tarrying in God's presence over the past couple of weeks. Times during which I have drunk deeply from the deepest and most ancient of wells.

These have also been the times where in my fraility I just tried to just gather the crumbs which fell under the Master's table, much like the dog which I saw myself as. But no, the Master cradled me in His loving arms and carried me to the table, and sat me there with Him. He lifted me up, placed me where I don't belong.

HE CARRIED ME.

This story doesn't end here of course. About 2 weeks in, I must have gone ahead of myself. Jesus says in John 16 we will have trouble as long as we are in this world. He also says that we should take heart as He has overcome the world. I must've taken my eyes off Jesus and focused on everything around me. First, on the table at which He sat me. Then as the trouble came, on the trouble and not on Him, the faithful one.

How big an idiot can I be? Anyway, point is I started to lose the joy which I had. And started getting really grumpy and acting a tad bit weird. My insecurities started getting attacked and were acting up as if on a perpetual caffeine drip. (wait I AM on a perpetual caffeine drip. ok WAS. I'm at 1 - 2 cups a day now)

Guess what I am trying to say is that I was convicted about the way I was acting and behaving to various people around me recently. Grumpy; weird; snappy; annoying; whiny. Any one or more or ALL of these at any one go. And all because I took my eyes of Him.

I dunno if anyone did notice this or realise this. But if you're one of them who was probably rubbed the wrong way by me. I'm sorry. I deeply apologise. Some of you might not think much of it. But I have to apologise. He wouldn't want me to do otherwise.

I love Jesus. I love His people. I love my family. I love my friends.

"Let us look to Jesus, the AUTHOR and FINISHER of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:2)

What does this verse mean to you?