This made me laugh...

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I took a bus to work...
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sorry just had to say it. =)

Weakness...

His Word says that we should live in a holy, reverent fear of the Lord, and not fear man. But therein lies a struggle for me.

Insecurities; caring too much about "what other people think"; being afraid to look stupid (hard to believe, but true...)... I've struggled with these issues alot. I find myself always wanting to make people happy, always wanting to please people. And being afraid, too afraid of people not liking me at times.

And I think, this is what really got to me today. Like I was allowing my mind to play tricks on me, I got intimidated by the situation. I was sooo afraid of "screwing up" that I actually did. It wasn't major, but I let myself get affected too easily.

I HATE to disappoint people. I HATE to know that I've let someone down. And I've let many people dear to me down over the years. I need to know I can't always please everyone...

This can't go on... I'm turning around. Hanging on to His every word. He alone is my identity. He alone defines who I am and what I do. He alone deserves my all...

I'm desperate... for HIS GLORY


Lord, I surrender
May I seek to put YOU above everyone and everything else in my life
May I be desperately passionate for YOU and YOU ALONE
May I seek to please YOU before any man
Give me the courage in the face of adversity and struggle
You are my ROCK.....

Melbourne snaps (& moooves...)

After being on a number of holidays so far, I have concluded that I'm definitely not a good holiday photographer. (or actually, I'm not a good photographer... period).

But seriously, I always get so caught up in the moment, enjoying my holiday and whatever specific activity I'm engaged in at that point, that I always forget to whip out the camera to capture it.

I really marvel at those who, in the middle of something really fun or whatever, can suddenly go,"oh! this would be a great photo opportunity!... Let me get out my trusty sony/nikon/canon/panasonic digicam (or camera phone)!"

Like how DO they do that?! I'm normally just too engrossed in whatever's happening at the moment.

BUT, in spite of that I managed to capture some snaps from my trip... here goes... =)

My trusty sneakers which took a severe pounding during the trip from all that walking I did.

Quiet time at a cafe? Haha... I do this in Singapore too!

(I thought this flower shop looked cool... )

I should really learn to smile more... =p


The chapel at Scotch College which Sue Lynn got married in.

Inside the chapel.

And the wedding begins...

Sue looks gorgeous...

Someone's happy...

Chris and Kax feasting on some antipasto platter at some random time of the day during which people normally do NOT eat... haha.

A picture of my future. Me and MY LAKE... and my 1000 pet ducks. (ok seriously, it's just the wedding dinner place)

A sampling of the food. This was deep fried zuchini flowers, which totally rocked.

And that's Sue, Chris & myself. (like seriously check out the girl on my right. Her name is Ann. She's a post grad pharmacy student. And I think she's like quite the pretty... )
And she sat beside me the whole night. She must have been honored.

A shot with the bride & groom.

Deserts from Greco @ Crowne. Taken on the last night of the trip. It's a Mars bar cake on the left, and Hazelnut meringue on the right. Shiokness...

And to prove I actually met Kax... here's a shot of us... hahahaha... (why do we both look so sleepy? Must be the amount of food we ate)


And here come the videos...


I look like terrible in this... Haha... rough plane ride lah.


Yum Cha?


check out this guy man!... wow

Melbourne April '08

My short trip to Melbourne (4 days) was just about the best thing that could happen to me over the since the year started. It was just what I needed: time away; many hours to do nothing; great food; too many coffees for your own good... pretty much perfect.

Ok I'm sure many people know I love Australia, especially Sydney. But when you can't get Sydney, Melbourne comes a close 2nd!


Here's some highlights from my trip:

Matthew & Sue Lynn's wedding
Ok this wedding was the reason for our (Chris & I) need to make the trip down to Melbourne in the first place. Sue Lynn is our longtime friend from ACJC (she was in SB1, me in SB2, Chris in SB3).

Ok about this point, I could actually start gushing and raving about the wedding like how silly girls do, but I'm gonna spare you people that horror. Haha...

But seriously now, it was a fantastic wedding. THE BEST. The quaint little chapel on a hill; the fantastic weather; the simple worship team made our of just a guitar, a piano and 2 voices; the 2 fantastic pastors who did the ceremony and the exhortation: and of course... the bride and groom themselves.

The ceremony was similar to what we have in Singapore, in our Anglican church. But the pastor conducting the ceremony (Ps Timothy Goh, their pastor over there) just put so much heart into the whole ceremony, bringing out the rich meanings and symbolisms of each step in the marriage service. Fantastic...and the speaker who did the exhortations was awesome too. (he's from Singapore, so Connect... you'll get to hear him! haha)

Oh oh.. and the wedding dinner!... it was at this restaurant by the lake, which was beautiful. And Matt & Sue chose the place because their first date was at a restaurant ACROSS the lake on the other side! Haha... how cool.

Ok I'm done talking about the wedding. If you wanna know more ask me when you see me.

Kax
Kax was our "host" for the trip, and I think we hung out with her every day we were there, except when we were at the wedding.

It was good to see her again and I think I spoke to her more than I ever did in Singapore... (maybe... haha). Hanging out with her was good fun. And we spent most of our time eating, and eating... Haha!... Hanging out at cafes, yum cha, meat & wine co. Shiokness...

Take care Kax! Thanks so much for the company and the chats. I hope you managed to get your "money's worth" of dirt. Heh...

Planetshakers
Oh yeah, and we (the people) went to Planetshakers for church as well. This was my 2nd time to the church for service and I was blessed by the service. It was an awesome time. The songs were unfamiliar and quite hard to catch at times, but God's presence was there and there was a real sense of worship in the place.

The Word of God was brought by Christine Caine from Hillsong. What a woman of God, with an even more powerful testimony! I was pretty impacted by her message as well. She preached on "Stop Acting Like a Christian, BE One!". Good stuff. We were saying she really reminds us of Auntie Carol at times.

If anyone wants to borrow her book, you can let me know. I bought a copy. Haha. (ihavetoomanybooks)

Ok I'm done with Melbourne for now. If I've got anything else to post I'll add it later... meanwhile standby for pics...

Jeremy Camp's testimony...

I know this is stuff you normally see in movies and other hollywood fluff.

But to see that this is possible by the love of God is pretty amazing... Now I know why many girls are crazy about Jeremy Camp.

WATCH THIS:

Mixed bag...

I haven't been posting much... cos I think what's been on my heart and mind over the past few months isn't something you can easily blog about. They're not things about which I can easily let the words flow... unfortunately.

Add to that various feelings of anger and disappointment (in various people), you have one entirely mixed bag. (and i wish i had Mag's "sighing pau" icon right now). Learning to surrender and pick up and move on has been one humbling experience...

Lord, I need Your grace and mercy......

Congratulations......

Congratulations to the both of you! (i hate how round my face looks)

Thank You Pastor William...

Thank you Pastor, for believing in us... for encouraging us. You're much loved by all of us. We'll miss you.

The past few days in pictures. I don't take good pictures, but......

I know I know... Why did I take so many pictures of the kids right?

WHO HAS MY DESPERATION BAND "WHO YOU ARE" CD?

I've just turned my room inside out to find it, and it's no where to be found...

So please let me know if it's with one of you... Please......

Haha... Desperation is the word alright.

(EDIT: ok ok... FOUND the cd... or rather i remember now who i lent it to... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...)

SG 2 JKT

I'll be off to Jakarta to spend some time with the Lims (TFEEEN) over the weekend. Do pray that we have a blessed time together.

But while I'll definitely miss everyone back home, I'm actually also looking forward to getting away (if only for a few days), from the madness of it all.

Have fun everyone...

Prison Break >>>>> FREE MAN

There was a man named M.S. (NOT Michael Scofield), who broke out of prison. And now has every top miliary and law enforcement official in the country tearing their hair out trying to figure out how they can nab the guy.

But this M.S. has brought me some joy because all resources are deployed looking for the fella, and hence, MY RESERVIST IS CANCELED. Whoopeedoodaadee...

Not that I like you Mr M.S. You is still a bad bad man... with a bad bad leg...

Everything hinges on everything....

Everything changes...... everyone changes...... Shouldn't we expect it?

I should expect it. But why do I still feel the way I do?

It's like history is repeating itself... but it's gotten even worse...

(edit: ok maybe not... then again)

Someone's promise......

"Lord, I know I'm not exceptionally gifted any area per se. I don't have a brain of a genius; I'm not a natural dynamic leader; I'm not a great singer; I don't have a fantastic voice; I am not in any way extremly gifted in music.

What I do have, is a senstive heart, a heart which has been given the ability and freedom to feel. A heart that feels joy, pain, hurt, sorrow. A heart that all too easily expriences a full range of emotions that oftentimes causes me alot of needless and unnecessary pain and heartache.

And this heart, O Lord, is my gift to You. This heart, which You have given me, I give back to You. That which you gave me, I will use in freedom to LOVE. You have a given me a heart that can LOVE, and LOVE is all I can and will do.

This heart, I pledge to pour out, pour out entirely to loving You, and Your people. My ability to experience an entire spectrum of emotions I surrender to You, for the service of feeling along WITH, and FOR Your people whom You've placed me among. I will cry with them, laugh with them, feel their hurt, feel their joy. All this, for Your glory.

My heart, O Lord, I dedicate entirely to loving You, and loving You people, as You would love them.

The one thing I have that's of worth I give to You.

This is my offering to You.

This is my worship.

May You be pleased with it.

May it bring You glory.

This is all I ask.

This is all I desire."

(Your child, a prince by grace)

S.C.R.E.A.M.

I REALLY think I've reached the limit
I can't go on...

A True Love Story, according to Perry......

I've been thinking recently about how we're constantly fed with the rubbish that is the world's definition of love. We take the movies, the stories in the magazines and books that are thrown our way, and allow them watered down, counterfeit definitions to tug at our heart strings and satisfy us as if they were the real thing.

I believe with all my heart that there is another reality, a new reality that was, and IS meant to be the original reality. But the problem is that we settle. We settle on what THEY tell us what all this should be about. And we forget what HE says...

Anyhow, I'd like to share this article I found on www.perrynoble.com. Check it out...

"America is WAY too fascinated with Hollywood and the “love stories” that keep coming out of there…sort of like vomit coming out of someone with food poisoning. Basically…all the tabloids are reporting is who is screwing who this month…and for some reason we are obsessed with it.
And movies…those are horrible as well when it comes to “love stories.” Remember the movie Titanic? Yep, quite a love story…girl meets guy on a boat & has sex with him without even knowing him (can anyone say “ho” boys & girls) and then swears she will never let him go! And when he dies…uh…she lets him go!!! And everyone in the theatre cried because they thought that was love.

Our world is so screwed up when it comes to identifying love…what true love is and how it makes a difference. Too many have equated love with a feeling…and when the feeling is gone then the love must be as well–so they jump from one relationship to the next, forgetting the vows they took before God and friends on their wedding day…and doing damage to their lives.
BUT yesterday–WOW–I heard a love story that put a lump in my throat. I am about to cry right now just thinking about it…and I want to share it with you.

Jason Wilson (Executive Pastor) and his brother Ken (Graphics/motion engineer) both work here at NewSpring. In fact, both of them were in the original group that met in a living room a little over seven years ago.

I’ve always told them that their family was “dysfunctional.” You see…their grandparents are still living on both sides…and there has been no divorce in their family…and their family actually loves hanging out with each other–isn’t that weird?

Anyway, their grandparents on their father’s side are the only set of grandparents that I have met…and they are two of the coolest people in the world. He is in his early 90’s and she is in her mid 80’s…and they are STILL together…still in love…and have established a legacy that is the same. I remember meeting them several years ago and being impressed with how full of life they were!

On Monday Jason had to leave the office rather quickly–he told us that his grandmother had fell as a result of a massive stroke and was in the hospital…and that they were not expecting her to make it through the night.

Yesterday morning he came in and we asked him what happened. He told us that she had fallen as a result of the stroke. The grandfather cannot hear very well–so he can’t make a phone call. And he could not pick her up because, well, he’s 92 I believe. So when Jason’s aunt could not reach the grandmother by phone she became concerned and went over to the house and found her mother lying in the floor…and her husband standing there right beside her. He refused to leave the side of his bride–for better or worse, in sickness and in health…’till death do us part!

They took her to the hospital and admitted her into ICU. After the entire family had gotten there they brought Jason’s grandfather into the room. He had to be brought in by wheel chair…and when they rolled him up by her bedside he got up out of the chair, leaned over his bride, kissed her and said, “I love you!”

THAT is a love story! Hearing that made me want to leave my desk & go home & hold my wife. I remember saying to Jason when he told me his story, “I want that so bad for my marriage–I want the only thing that can separate us to be death…and even when it tries it will know it has been in a fight!”

Love is not jumping from bedroom to bedroom…love is a commitment that sticks through whatever situation life throws at you. Ken & Jason were able to witness first hand the power of true love–Jason said when his grandfather kissed his grandmother that there was not a dry eye in the room…why…because true love is motivating!!!

Singles–my challenge to you is HOLD OUT for what is REAL! If he’s trying to get in your pants…or your relationship is based on something other than true love–then you may have what Hollywood has…vomit…and the pain that it will bring will leave a scar.

And if you are married–I challenge you right now to stop what you are doing–right now, pick up the phone & call your spouse & tell them that you love them…and that you always will!!!

I am not sure how Jason & Ken’s grandmother is doing right now…but please keep them in your prayers…and when you are doing so–thank God for allowing us to see a demonstration of the kind of love He has for us…a love that will not leave us…no matter what!"

Selah......

"The significance of our lives doesn't come from the specific thing(s) we're doing, but from the greater thing we're part of......" (Glenn Packiam - New Life Church)

Pause for a moment, and think about it. What are we part of? What are YOU part of?

We've part of something that's much much bigger than ourselves, bigger than this life we live. And this something, is a huge move of God across our land, across the nations. The creator of the universe is preparing for the return of the Bridegroom. He's on the move, and calling out to us to move along with Him.

Now what would YOU do? What are YOU part of?

Selah......

Melaka... Malacca... Ma Liu Jia...

As most would know by now, I spend my CNYs in Malacca, where my maternal grandparents live. I've been coming up to Malacca for CNY ever since I was born. I don't even know what Singapore smells like on the 1st day of CNY, and I wonder when I'll ever find out... Some tell me that as far as smells go, it ain't that great. Hmmmm......

Anyhow, this year the hotel which we always stay in decided to provide FREE Wi-Fi in the lobby. So guess where I've been spending most of my time when the relatives are sleeping... Heh.. Thank You Lord...

I've also managed to get some time to catch up on my reading, which is fantastic. The past few trips to SKS have left me with a huge backlog of books to finish. Haha. =) Here's some of the books that I hope to get through within the next few months:

1. A Hunger For God - John Piper
2. By Faith and Failure - David Harley (a gift from Andrew & Diana)
3. In Pursuit Of His Glory - RT Kendall
4. The Living Church: Confessions of a lifelong pastor - John Stott
5. Sex God - Rob Bell (sounds "dangerous"... But I thoroughly enjoyed his previous book, Velvet Elvis)
6. someemobook that Maggie gave me for my birthday (I temporarily forgot the title of it, but it looks potentially suicide causing... haha)

Haha... looks like I've got alot of reading to do. But I'm loving every minute of it. Especially together with checking out the different albums I've procured over the last month. =)

I'm now listening to a whole mix of Ross Parsely and The Desperation Band (4 albums worth! haha), Lifehouse (Collin Kam is the latest fan... yeahhhh), Matt Redman (Facedown, not a new album, but a good one), and Damien Rice Live (i should try listening to it while reading Mag's book... in a child safe environment).

And of course, being here away from work and all, I have the chance to just spend time with God, reflecting on the past month. And also reflecting on some of the stuff that people have said to me over the past month...

No one has a monopoly on the truth, most definitely not me. So it's up to me to cry out to the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the truth of God present in all the things that I've experienced and heard from different people this past January. And it's up to Him to reveal.

Ok glenn's off to e.o.c. with a book. (what's e.o.c.? ask John... that's what John are for... ) Have a great CNY y'all... Shine for Him!

P.S. Oh yeah... Marcus, fellow pine grove mate, I dunno if you ever read my blog, but I'm praying for you yeah? Hopefully I'll be able to say hi to you online soon. God will provide... He is faithful. He is... =)

When everything hinges on...

It's one of those days when it feels like everything's on your shoulders
When everything hinges on YOU
But still THE ONE says that His yoke is easy
That His burden is light

And then He says,"My grace is sufficient for you..."
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And there's an intense struggle right now to surrender these feelings of being taken for granted... because I don't need them.

But, who would I be to the people around me if I wasn't who I am... if I didn't do the things I do?